When Jazz (pictured above) returned to Perth after ten days at the Vedanta Academy with fiancé Scott (pictured above), she said that Swamiji gave them the best relationship advice they have ever had. He said:
Jazz, when you see qualities or behaviours you don’t like in Scott, and want him to change, the best thing you can do is work on yourself. As you develop yourself, you will help Scott develop himself.
And Scott, when you see qualities or behaviours you don’t like in Jazz, and you want her to change, the best thing you can do is work on yourself. And as you develop yourself, you will help Jazz develop herself.
This relationship advice is pure gold — and it can be applied to all aspects of life: home-life, work-life and social-life.
When we develop ourselves, we create the space for others to develop themselves. Also our perception and perspective on life changes. “Change yourself and you change the world.” Says Swami Parthasarathy.
Applying this Advice
When you apply this advice, you find that what once bothered you doesn’t bother you anymore. What once felt like your head was being tightened by an invisible clamp won’t feel like that anymore. You will be much calmer, more understanding and more accepting of people for who they are. You will understand and accept their quirks and foibles, along with their strengths and values.
Plus, your actions will set an example. The people around you will pick up on that and want to improve their own behaviour. When each one takes responsibility for their own self development and improvement, amazing things happen.
As a wise person once said, “The greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of your own self development.”
Thus, our goal in life should be to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect our own inner calm, contentment, and mental wellbeing.